Executive presence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s a set of skills you can break down and build one at a time. The four executive presence tips that matter most are how you show up physically, how well you understand yourself and others, how deep your expertise goes, and how clearly you communicate. Stack them over time and people start noticing.
Have you ever met someone for the first time and immediately thought, man, this person has an incredible presence? I want to be around them. I want to learn from them and grow from them.
Most of us go through life without putting much thought into what’s actually happening there. We assume they were just gifted with it. They’re naturally captivating. They can walk into any room and have a conversation with anybody.
That’s how I thought for most of my life. It’s only been in the past ten years or so that I started getting intentional about breaking down what actually gives people that kind of presence. Here are the four things I’ve noticed, and at the end I’ll get into why this matters so much.
What Are the 4 Pillars of Executive Presence?
- Appearance. How you dress, how you carry yourself, and how you take care of your health.
- Understanding yourself and others. Knowing why you respond the way you do, and reading the people around you.
- Deep expertise. Knowing your craft well enough that people want to listen.
- Communication. Clear speech with no filler words, purposeful hand gestures, and steady eye contact.
How Should You Dress to Build Executive Presence?
My grandfather always told me growing up, dress for the job you want, not the one you have. I didn’t fully understand the why behind it at the time. It was more of an okay, yeah, that kind of makes sense, I’ll do that.
As I progressed through my career, every time I landed a new job or was aspiring to step into that next role, I’d figure out the standard for dress and attire in that environment, and then go one level above it.
What Is the One Notch Above Rule?
The one notch above rule means dressing one level above the standard for whatever room you’re walking into. Not so far above that you’re detached from everybody. If you walk into a wireline shop in the Permian wearing a tux, you’ve missed the point. Just one notch above.
What that does is cause everybody to perk up a little bit. Oh, okay, he came in looking pretty sharp. Maybe he has something worth listening to.
Figuring out the notch isn’t complicated. Get the lay of the land first. Should I be wearing jeans and a T shirt into this conference room, or would slacks and a button up be more appropriate? Understand the expectation, then go one step above it.
Does Fitness Affect Executive Presence?
The other piece of appearance that I think is extremely important is your health and fitness.
I know how this can come across, but if you walk into a room clearly not taking care of yourself, it’s going to be harder for people to take you seriously.
I’m not saying you have to be an elite CrossFit athlete or an Olympic lifter. But it is important to take your health seriously, because working out builds confidence. And the more confident you are, the easier it is to walk into a room with your head up, shoulders back, and chest out.
When you dress sharp and walk in calm, confident, and collected, people pay attention.
How Do Behavioral Assessments Help With Executive Presence?
This one was a big unlock in my professional career. I spent the first 10 to 12 years confused and frustrated about why people didn’t get it.
It wasn’t until I started doing research and taking behavioral assessments like DISC, Birkman, and the Enneagram that things started to click. They helped me understand myself better.
That’s where we have to start. Why do we do the things we do? Why do we think through things a certain way? And more importantly, why do we respond to certain situations the way we do?
Once you understand those things about yourself, you can start turning that lens on everyone around you.
Say Jason is very dominant and direct. When I talk with him, I need to be direct. Not necessarily dominant, but direct, so my message actually lands with him.
If I’m talking with a bubbly, extroverted, outgoing person in sales or marketing or HR, I want to meet them where they are and match their energy.
When you can match the energy of the people in the room, it becomes so much easier to connect with them.
Why Does Expertise Matter for Executive Presence?
This next one is important, and it should come a little more naturally.
Whether you’re a technology professional, an HR professional, or a wireline engineer, it’s easy to do the same thing over and over until you become an absolute expert at it. And when you know your craft and know what you’re talking about, people find it easier to listen to you.
Some people struggle to go deep on any one thing because they get bored. So they jump around. I’m going to try underwater basket weaving. I’m going to try yoga. I’m going to try model trains. And sure, you end up with a breadth of knowledge across a lot of different areas. But when a conversation gets deep and you can’t follow people there, you’re going to lose them.
So become an absolute expert in your domain.
What Communication Skills Build Executive Presence?
The final one is arguably the most important. Hone, refine, and develop your communication skills.
Everything I just talked through falls apart if you can’t clearly articulate a message. Who’s going to listen?
Eliminate Filler Words
You’ve heard me harp on this all the time. You have to get the filler words out of your vocabulary. The ums, the uhs, the likes, the sos. They’re crushing your credibility.
The issue is they’ve become so normal in society that sometimes people don’t notice them. But when there are too many, it gets obnoxious, and people start tuning you out because it’s just noise.
There’s another thing that happens when you get rid of them. People don’t consciously pick up on it, but they think, oh, Sean can clearly articulate a thought. I can follow him through this entire message. That’s the hidden benefit. If you can speak clearly without filler words, people are going to listen.
Use Hand Gestures With Purpose
Hand gestures pull people in and support your message. It’s such an easy and beautiful way to keep their attention and keep them focused on you.
Make and Hold Eye Contact
While they’re focused on you, make eye contact.
I really struggled with this early in my career. I was an introverted guy hiding behind my keyboard playing video games, so making and holding eye contact just wasn’t a thing for me. When I got into business, I struggled with it. And if there was a pretty girl in the room? Forget about it. It wasn’t going to happen.
But there’s so much power in making and maintaining eye contact, because it shows confidence, and people want to listen to confident people.
It won’t be easy at first. Try holding the gaze a little bit longer each time and gamify it. That makes it easier.
Why Is Executive Presence So Hard to Teach?
When you bundle all of these things together, all of a sudden you have a powerful, captivating presence.
I think that’s why so many people struggle to teach presence. It’s nebulous and clear at the same time. We can see it and identify it instantly, but we struggle to break down the individual skills and traits that create it.
So chunk it down. I’m going to work on my communication skills. I’m going to be more intentional about eye contact. I’m going to figure out the dress code and go one step above.
How Long Does It Take to Build Executive Presence?
Don’t try to focus on all four at once.
Spend a few months on one element, then move to the next, and the next. Keep stacking these skills, and one day somebody is going to turn to you and say, you have this incredible presence.
Frequently Asked Questions About Executive Presence
Is executive presence something you’re born with?
No. Sean Barnes describes executive presence as a set of individual skills that can be learned: appearance, understanding yourself and others, deep expertise, and clear communication. People who seem naturally captivating have usually built those skills over time.
What are the 4 pillars of executive presence?
Appearance, understanding yourself and others, deep expertise in your field, and communication. Each one can be developed on its own, and together they create presence.
How should I dress to have executive presence?
Follow the one notch above rule. Figure out the dress standard for the room you’re walking into, then dress one level above it. Not so far above that you look out of place, just enough to make people perk up.
How do I stop using filler words?
Start by noticing them. Words like um, uh, and like have become so normal that most people don’t realize how often they use them. Replacing them with a short pause makes you sound clearer and more credible.
Which behavioral assessments help with executive presence?
Sean Barnes points to assessments like DISC, Birkman, and the Enneagram. They help you understand why you respond the way you do, and then help you read and adapt to the people around you.
How long does it take to develop executive presence?
There’s no fixed timeline. Sean recommends focusing on one element for a few months before moving to the next, and stacking the skills over time rather than trying to fix everything at once.
Build Your Presence With a Partner in Your Corner
Wolf Executives works with directors and senior leaders across Houston who want to walk into any room and be taken seriously. If you want help breaking down your presence and building it one skill at a time, let’s have a conversation.
About the Author
Sean Barnes is the founder of Wolf Executives, a Houston based executive coaching and leadership development firm, and host of The Sean Barnes Podcast. He spent two decades in progressive leadership roles across IT, human resources, ESG, safety, and transportation, and has guided organizations through dozens of acquisitions and integrations as well as two IPOs. Today he coaches directors and senior leaders through the transition into vice president level roles and beyond, and speaks at 40 to 50 conferences and executive events a year across North America as a keynote speaker and conference chair.
